Sabotage

Today I woke up with the resolve to go for a long walk. I went to my daughters’ rooms to wake them and then changed into my walking clothes. Ten minutes later the only one who was excited was the dog. She knows that when I’m wearing tennis shoes she gets to go outside. She practically did back flips until I put the leash on her collar. My nineteen year old woke up long enough to tell me she was too tired and my twelve year old didn’t budge-so much for our joint family effort to get in shape. It was really cold and the dog took care of her business right away, so my long walk turned into a short stroll around the block. I then returned home to attempt to use the stability ball and resistance bands.

I have to say that those fitness magazines are a joke, at least for those of us who are out of shape. They always have pictures of an extremely fit model demonstrating the exercises. I realize they wouldn’t sell many copies if they had pictures of overweight women but I am certain that I do not look nearly as graceful as the fit model and it doesn’t help my ego. It also doesn’t help that these exercises which appear to be so easy in the magazine are the exact opposite. I discovered that stability ball is a misnomer and should actually be called instability ball. Although I didn’t pop it as I had feared, I did roll off of it and it wasn’t fun. Fortunately it was in the privacy of my living room and there were no witnesses. The resistance bands were easier to use, although I couldn’t get through all the various sets and reps that the magazine suggested. After I finished my work out (although I’m not even sure it qualified as one), I sat on the couch and daydreamed. I imagined a world where a couch potato could burn calories just by sitting. If that world existed I would be thin and I wouldn’t have had to invest $20.00 into bands and balls. Instead I could have bought a few value meals at McDonald’s and sat on the couch, eating cheeseburgers and losing weight.

Good news-yesterday my 12 year old tried tofu for the first time. Bad news-today she ate a piece of bacon. It has only been three days and she broke our no eating meat for a month clause. I guess it didn’t help that we went to visit my parents this morning as they were eating a late breakfast. Knowing full well that we are avoiding meat, my mother offered us bacon. My daughter gave me a very sad look, you know that look that says, “Please, Mommy please.” I then told her she could have some if she wanted, although she knew by my tone I wasn’t happy about it. Although I didn’t see her eat it, she confessed in the car that she had snagged a piece while my parents and I were engaged in conversation. On our way out my mom invited us to return for dinner. I had noticed the two large pieces of meat thawing on her counter and reminded her that we were trying to be vegetarian for a month.

“I’ll put some vegetables in it,” she replied.

Thanks Mom, I really appreciate the support.